Mallard facing court charge for Mallets of Mayhem

The New Zealand Herald says: Cabinet Minister Trevor Mallard has been summoned to appear in court and face an assault charge next month – and the taxpayer may have to fund the case.

Wellington District Court Judge Bruce Davidson issued the summons after an application for a private prosecution by Wellington accountant Graham McCready.

Trevor Mallard says: I haven’t received any summons, ah I mean no comment.

Graham McCready says: Forget my frivolous court action against former prime minister Robert Muldoon and my defamation claim against an old Scout leader decades after the fact, also please ignore that I’m due in court myself over 40 tax-related charges, this is a genuine case that really matters people!

Guest Commentator Sideshow Bob says: Pshaw! A Princeton alum would accrue more fortune than myself in my interminable pursuit of Bart Simspon’s demise before Koltho, Lakhesis and Atropos would weave this bumbling buffoon the benefit of a benign outcome. Pah!

Cliff Notes’ News Commentary Team says: What was the moral of that story about the crazy man that cried court case? Or was it that philosophical debate about if a court summons is served to a non front bench politician, does anybody care? Either way, too bad Mr McCready has waited until now to have a decent point, NCEA computers being sold on trademe notwithstanding. Still, it’s nice to have a name like McCready in the B list headlines again, gives us a reason to put on our fake Scottish accents. Why Helllo Mr MahkCrreeeedie, aye!